I am going to start with the physical struggle. I went to go see mark yesterday during his swimming therapy. As I arrived my sister Nellie and my Niece Melynda was leaving. My sister was crying so hard she could not talk she told me not to go in there, it is to hard. I told her I had seen it and went on in. Marks body was shaking up and down way more then the first time I had seen him in the water. Mark was not able to walk across the pool like he did the first time. Mark was complaining about pain in his toes and his feet were dragging on the bottom of the pool, while trying to walk. This session was way harder to watch than the first one I had seen Mark do. It was harder because Mark was not able to do as much as he did the first day, I had seen him in the water. Mark did float three times on his stomach with a mask on his face and his face in the water. The therapist (Kelly) would have to bring mark back up for air every time Mark needed to breath. The mask was to keep the water out of Marks eyes. The water effects Marks eyes like it would effect a infant. When the water gets in his eyes he takes along time to open them. Mark then stepped off into the deepest part of the pool and he knew it. He said immediately that "this is deep". The water was up to Marks neck. When Mark had done this he was reaching for the side of the pool because he was starting to tip. Mark pulled him self along side of the pool with his hands where I was sitting. He then expressed to me he was disappointed in himself for not doing what he wanted to do. I then told him he would do better next time. Marks body would not calm down, even when Mark was on his back floating with the swim noddles one under his knees one under his back and one under his arms and neck. The therapist Kelly walked Mark around for a while. Mark did finally calm down, you could see the change in his face. Mark's face did start to look a little more relaxed. Mark did also blow bubbles in the water while his face was under the water. Mark's session was over and Kelly had to load Mark back on the chair and raise Mark out of the pool. Mark then had to get into his wheelchair, this is not easy for Mark. Marks shakes are worse today Marks feet do not stay on the ground they bounce up and down. you have to hold down his knees to keep his feet on the ground. I would call upon all of you to pray for Mark mentally and physically. I know all your prays work they help strengthen him.
What do we struggle with mentally? This could be so many things. Mentally we could be struggling because we are no longer able to do what we once was able to do. Or maybe we are in a lot of pain, this very much effects us mentally. I have been in constant pain before. Your mind gets cloudy. Everything that once brought you so much joy seems dark and gray . When I was in pain I found it hard to be around people. I just wanted to be left alone. My own personality had change I was miserable. I was not very pleasant to be around. After I started to feel better I thought a lot about the elderly people. I thought about their aches and pains and why some of them would be miserable and why their personality are not as they once were. When my pain left me, my joy was restored. The darkness I was feeling was gone. This is just a thought so maybe we can be a little more understanding to people that are in pain.
This is just another thought about mentally. What else could we be struggling with? Maybe why we might think God might reject us. Could he reject us because of our actions. As christan's we should know that Gods love is unfailing! What would interfere with the love of God? Is this because we have failed at so many things so many times over and over again. God loves us even when we fail. Is it because we continuously make the same mistakes over and over again? God knows our nature. What else could interfere with our relationship with God? So many times we do not forgive someone for what they have done to us. How does that affect us with our relationship with God? What did Jesus say when Jesus was asked by Peter. [Matthew 18:21 ]"Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" When Peter asked this he thought that seven times was plenty.[ isn't seven times enough] Matthew 18: 22 Jesus answered, " I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Why did Jesus say this ? Jesus said this because he has forgiven us for all that we do and he has shown us endless mercies . Please read Matthew 18:21-35 and think about what Jesus is saying! Think about the forgiveness that God has given us and think about the forgiveness we need to have to others.
Think about the servant that was forgiven so much! Think about how he failed to have the same mercies to the person that owed him, all he could see is that he was owed and he desired what was owed to him. How many times do we fail to see Gods love for us because we are focused on ourself. We can't see past ourself to see Gods love clearly. Our only focus is what is owed to us or to repay what has been done to us by not forgiving the actions of another person. We justify our actions. God was just when Adam sinned and he had to separate himself from Adam because of sin. It was mercy that God showed us when he gave his son for our sins. Jesus did not think of himself when he hung on the cross. Jesus done what the father had asked him to do out of love for the father and out of love for us! Jesus said ''Father forgive them they know not what they do''. This is an unselfish love! This is Love in its purest form. We are to be like Jesus loving always and forgiving others always. How many times have we ourself done something to someone and not known what we have truly done. Can we then see another person love if our only thoughts are about our self. All we can see is our own needs. We are not capable of seeing things clearly. We as human beings have to quit looking at ourselves and we have to start focusing on God. We have to focus on God to see the love he has for us. If we focus on ourselves we will fail to see the love of God. God has offered, his pure love for us to receive freely, and when we receive it we are to share it freely.
I pray that you O god would help me to always focus on you so I can see more clearly. Keep my mind off myself and on the love you have for me so that I would not lose sight of you! Keep my heart like yours always showing love to others so that they might see you though me! I know I have failed in this area of my life but I ask you today to carry me. Make me like you would want me to be, so that I might honor you.
The time is about 1:20P.M. when I got a call from my brother Sunnie. Sunnie tells me that him and Charles are with Mark right now. Sunnie also tells me that he was watching Mark in his physical therapy class. Sunnie told me that Mark was walking with the walker. Then Sunnie told me that he started to pray for Mark. Sunnie told me that he prayed that God would give Mark the strenght to walk. No sooner had my little brother prayed that prayer God answered it for him. Mark told his physical therapist Ryan Donahue that he did not want to use the walker anymore. They then pushed it to the side and Mark proceeded to walk across the room twice without a walker. Thank you God for answering my brother Sunnie's prayer so fast. Thank you for revealing yourself to Sunnie. You truly are an awesome God!!!!
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