Friday November28th 2008 Goodbye's and Hello's

I took my sister Nellie to the Airport today I Know Nellie is having a hard time leaving.  Nellie has always been very close with Mark.  Mark is a really good big brother.  Mark would let Nellie tag along with him all the time.  He was always good about bringing home Nellie special treats.  Nellie got to spend the morning with Mark before she left.  I no that she enjoyed her time alone with Mark.

Lilly was visiting Mark on Thursday night and she told Mark that Nellie was going home on Saturday.  Mark did not like to hear that Mark said that he would like her to stay and that she had never left home until she got married and then she moved to Amarillo TX.  Mark is very close to all of us. We have been blessed to have him for a big brother.

 I took my sister Nellie  to the  Airport so she could fly home to be with her family.   Then I went to go see Mark to watch him do his swim therapy at 4:00, Mark was sleeping the therapist Kelly decided that Mark was to tired from Thanksgiving to get in the water today.   Marks door was shut so I did not wake him.   It is not easy seeing Mark day after day.  All the things that are so easy for us are very difficult for him.

Our Uncle John flew in to see Mark today.  My niece Elaine and Nellie pick him up and took him to go see Mark at the Hospital.  My Mom was in the room when my Uncle John walk in to see Mark.  Mom loved seeing Uncle John see Mark.  Uncle John had not seen Mark since he was in the coma at the other Hospital.  Mark was so happy to see Uncle John. Our Uncle has been a great Uncle to us all.  We have all felt the great love he has for us!  I ask Uncle John did you have a great visit with Mark.  Uncle John replied O wonderful!  He then told me that he taught he would come here to see if he could help in any way!  Uncle John then said that he was surprised at how much he was blessed by Mark.  Mark does have a glow about his face the Lord definitely has filled Mark.  I believe this is because Mark is seeing his self as a person that is in need of God.  Mark also is aware of his sin in his life he has stated that to me on more than one occasion.  We have to see the sin in our life to see the need for God!  We are slaves to sin!    Sin brings about pain and suffering, sin also brings about separation from a Holy God!  We have to be free from sin to become free.  This will only happen if we ask the one that paid the ultimate price for all that would believe on him, Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior for forgiveness.  We most see the need to do this so that we can see sin for what it.  Sin is separation from a Holy God!  True restoration will only accrue when sin is taken away that can only be done thought the cross.  Payment was made on Calvary.  Let us open are eyes and see what that cost really was!  That cost was pain and suffering.  That cost was separation from a Holy God that could not be in the presence of sin.  Jesus allowed him self to be separated from the father on be half of us purely out of Love.  Thought out all eternity Jesus was never separated from the Father until he took our sin upon him how much must God truly love us.  Could we ever really understand the great love he has for us or are we only capable of Knowing a worldly love.  I don't think I will truly comprehend Gods love for me until I stand before him and I and changed by him on that great and final day when I will be given a new name and a transformed into a new body!

Thursday November 27 Th. 2008 Happy Thanksgiving and Sunnie's Prayer

As I arise this morring the loved ones we have are in your hands.  I know that you have nothing but the very best planned.  O lord teach everyone of them, the love that you have for them, Let them Know you.  Let them see you.  Let them feel your presence !

I woke up today looking forward to prepairing the turkey.  Mark ask if I would make him a turkey, this is very unusual Mark really is not a big fan of turkey, but he always has liked my stuffing and mashed potates and gravy.  I cant wait to bring it up to him!

The Elks Rehabilitation Hospital

Our brother Sunnie said grace over our dinner.

Lord I want to thank you for what you done for Mark.

Thank you for giveing Mark back to us.

Thank you for the miracle you did for Mark.

Thank you for our brother here today. 

I am sorry for not being thankful for all the things you have done for us, before this happened to Mark

I am sorry it took this for me to say I am thankful to you.

I am sorry.

I love you lord.

Bless our food amen.

I am so happy today God has shown himself to me thought his many blessing that he has bestowed upon us all.  

Tuesday November 25 th. 2008 What keeps us from god

Went to go see Mark for a few min. yesterday.  I told him how his nice Sunnie had gotten baptized.  I ask Mark if he remembered getting baptized with Mom and I in Gallop New Mexico years ago.  Mark said" I don't remember but Mom would" I told him I would ask Mom.  Mark then told me that him and Hank had gotten baptized in Mt. Home Idaho.  Mark was right about getting baptized with Hank but he had the wrong town and state.  They were baptized in Phoenix Arizona, about twenty seven years ago. 

 Mark had just told Uncle John that he would like to get re baptized again.  I know from everything that Mark has been saying that he wants to re diticate his life to God.  I am so happy to here this.  Even though God never leaves us, we so often lose sight of him.  I am so glad that we have a forgiving God a God that does not say you forgot me, so I want nothing to do with you anymore.  God just keeps waiting are return!  I know this because your word say it in so many places.  From Adam that you clothed to Samson that you returned his strengh to David 

that had sin against you ,you still loved them all.  From Peter that denied you three times you trusted in leadership of the church.  You O God  has shown yourself to us in so many different ways why are we so blind so many times!  Why can we not see you love us and only want a relationship with us! When will I learn  to trust in you!

Wednesday November. 26 Th. 2008 Thinking of Thankfulness

  Thanksgiving is tomorrow and my younger brother Sunnie has expressed to me a couple of weeks ago that he wanted to say grace over our Thanksgiving dinner.   I have been thinking about what he might want to say.  I have been looking forward to hearing his pray!  Boy don't think that I haven't been thinking allot the last couple of days about how many things we all have to be thankful for!  God has been so good to all of us in so many different ways.

  Well you know my number one thank you would be Mark right.  Mark is looking at a miracle every day!  We are all so happy to have him with us right know.  The improvement's that he is making every day are truly amazing.  Mark has walked up five stairs steps and back down them.  His future son In-law prayed the night before that he would be able to do this and he did.  Mark has also walk yesterday and today with the assistance of physical therapist holding on to his waist. I was very happy to here this Mark is gaining more strength everyday. 

 The hospital has really cracked down on Marks visitor's.  They are only allowing two at a time now this makes it very hard for all of us to see Mark because their is so many of us.  Dad got back yesterday and the boys got in today I stayed home so my Dad and Sister Nellie and brothers Charles and Sunnie could visit Mark.   It sounded like they had areal good time to night.  I called my sister Nellie to see how Mark was doing, Mark wanted to talk to me.  He told me I was a nice one for not coming up to see him.  I told him he could not have allot of visitor's, he said that's nice.  I ask him how was his day, Mark said it was nice ,Not!   then he started to laugh I had to laugh back!   Marks spirit sound really good tonight!  I am very much looking forward to having Thanksgiving with Mark and everyone else! 

 I am going to miss My girl Melynda she will be spending her first Thanksgiving away from home she will be with her husband Sammy.  Melynda will be cooking her very first Thanksgiving dinner.  I hope everything goes well for her.

Even though Melynda is not here with us, I know that she is happy so this makes it easier for me to have her be away.

God I thank you for each and everyone of your blessing you have bestowed upon us.  I would ask you Lord that you would open our eyes to be able to see them all.  God you are a God of many blessing, Blessing beyond all measures.  Thank you Lord God!!! Thank You All Mighty One!!!

Monday November 24 th 2008 Sunnie Slennder Babtism

Hank the kids and I went to church yesterday.  The worship and service was very good I always feel like I have learned something new from Pastor Greg, his heart is so honest with the Lord.  I believe that pastor Greg has been a pastor for a very long time this man has not lost his passion for God or for trying to when people to Christ.  

After church we went to go see Mark.  Mark was sleeping so we did not get to visit him.   Love you Mark I will see you today and I will bring you a scuba mask so you can enjoy going under the water in you swimming therapy.

Last night we went back to church for a very special reason.  We went back to see Our neice Sunnie Slender get baptized.  I always love seeing anyone get baptized because it brings me back to when I was a young girl, and when I got baptized.  I was 12 years old my Mom would have been 34 years old.  Her and I got baptized together in Gallop New Mexico.  I will never forget being baptized.  It is very hard to explain the feeling that you have when you go down in the water, and when you come up.  This overwhelming feeling came over me I felt almost like I was floating when I walk out of the tank that I was baptized in.  I was reborn my sin were wash away!  I was a new child in Christ Jesus!  Lord you have shown us the importance of doing this thought John the Baptize.  John was preparing the way for Christ and for the Holy Spirit.

 I know if I was to accept you in my life today and  were to die sometime after words without being baptized I would still go to be with you in heaven.  But as believers why miss out on something so great?   Why not be obedient?   Why not do what Christ himself done even though he was without sin he done this act to show us what to do.   Jesus himself  showed us the importance of doing this by having John baptized him.

I have written this for my nice Sunnie yesterday before she was baptized I read it for her before she was baptized.

 

 And the word of God says, the penalty for sin is death.   Romans6:23  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

You Sunnie know that you need Jesus to take away your sin.  That is why you are here today this is why you have chosen to be baptized.  You know that you have to die to yourself so that you can truly live.

 

Romans 10:8-10 But what does it say?  "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart," that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming:  9 That if you confess with your mouth,"Jesus is Lord, " and believe in your heart that God raised him from, the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

 

 You Sunnie have chosen this day to be baptized, and I am so very happy  that you have chosen to do this.   

 

  I know you know what this means.  I know that this has been on your heart for a couple of years now, and I am glad that I am here to witness you giving your life over to Christ, our Lord and savior.  I pray Sunnie that you will not forget what you have done today.  That you will know always who you have chosen to serve.  That you will never forget the love of Jesus Christ and the price he paid for our sins on Calvary.  I am thankful that you know the meaning of what you are doing and you know the significance of baptism.  I pray that you will always remember that you have died to yourself and you have been reborn in the Lord.  That you can live a life filled with the holy Spirit for Jesus now lives in you.   Jesus  is now in your life.  I pray that you will live a life that will be pleasing to God.  I pray that you will always know how much God loves you.  I pray the blessing of our Lord and Savior will be with you all the days of your life.  I am so very happy to be here today to see what you have chosen to do.  I was your aunt now I am your sister in Christ.  We will always have a special bond because we will always be sisters. We will always be sister in Christ our Lord.  I love you my girl.  I am very happy for you today!

Sunday November 23 rd. 2008 Lord Guide my steps.

I a woke to you O Lord! I a woke to your presence ! You are teaching me everyday! Lord guide my steps so that I won't get lost! Lord teach me that I might know you! Teach me so that I can under stand you more clearly! Lord speak into my heart so that I can love you the way that you desire to be loved. Lord speak into my heart so that I will love you! Lord speak into my heart so that I am connected to you! Lord speak to my heart so that I will not stray!

Hank and our son Henry and I went to go see Mark yesterday. When we got to the hospital Mark was sleeping so we did not go in we decide to come back later on in the night. The doctor has increased Marks medicine for his Jerks. He is still jerking but not as much. But I have also noticed his drowsiness Mark has been closing his eyes more often when he is talking, he is having a hard time keeping them opened. I do not know if this is all the time or just occasionally when I happen to be their.

My Dad had to go back to California to take care of some business, he does not say good by to Mark because it is to hard for him, and he does not want Mark to know that he is gone!

Hank and I went back up to see Mark around six last night. On our way I called my dad to see if he made it to Reno he was about 20 miles out from getting their. Dad told me that Mom told him that Mark was Miserable. I told Dad that Hank and I were heading up to the hospital to go see Mark. Dad thought that might be good for Mark to see Hank because he loves male companionship. I told Dad to drive careful and I will see you Thanksgiving. I love you Dad.

Thursday November 20th. 2008 Arise to the Lord of my life and Marks swimming therapy and Dads Joy

I feel asleep for a few hours and I awoke to Arise. The church I go to sings this song, Arise take your place be in throned O arise take your place. This song speaks about God on his throne and God taking his place in our life.

Lord I only want to serve you at any cost. I have went over this thought in my mind before. I went over this six years ago when my boy Mark got ran over by a Excercion. Lord I spoke to you about all my fears. You know that I was afraid to allow you to be in control. I was afraid that I might have to lose someone dear to me if I allowed you to be Lord of my life. I did not want to give the things that you had in trusted to me back to You. I thought If I did not give them to you, I would not allow anything to happen to them. I thought I was in control. I thought that I could protect them if I did not hand them over to you. This is definitely a lie . I was afraid that if I handed them over to you that I might lose one of them to You. It has took me along time to see that my family was yours to begin with. That you had created each and everyone of them, and you love them far more then I can imagine. I have no control over what can happen to my family anyway. You say that the earth and every living thing in it is yours. You have created all things . How could I think that I could have control over anything! I am not the creator of the Heavens and the Earth. I have not created one thing. I was only allowed by you to be able to procreate. I was created by you! You for Knew me before time began, you knew me in my mothers womb.

This is why you deserve all my praises. You know the number of my days. You know the number of every ones days you knew this before the beginning of time. This is stated in your word. I know that your word is absolute truth! I know You are the creator of all living things that you are in control of all things. So how could I fear You. How could I fear giving all that I have to You! The only real fear that I should have is not knowing You. I know that I should only fear not having You in my life. We fear because we do not know truth. God is truth and in him there is no fear. In him there is sound mind! In him there is peace! In him there is true Joy! In him there is true rest! In him I am alive! In him I have a life worth living! Thank you O God for showing me that I do not have to fear You! I only have to fear not knowing You! You O God are in control of all things.

I went to go see Marks swim therapy today. Mark has done better even today. Marks therapy began, with a life preserver around his neck and round floaty around his ankles this allowed Mark to float on his back all by himself. Kelly, the therapist, would ask Mark to push his stomach up to the surface of the water and Mark would do it. Then Kelly would ask Mark to push his bottom towards the bottom of the pool, by grabbing his ankles. Mark done this. Mark enjoyed floating on his back after he got use to the water, you could see he was more relaxed than yesterday.

Kelly then took Mark to the deep end of the pool so mark could practice walking. When Kelly started to have Mark walk he told Mark move your right foot forward then your left. Kelly would say right left right left right left Mark began to say right left right left as he took each step. Mark was concentrating so hard on doing exactly what Kelly asked him, he did a great job! Mark was able to walk from one side of the pool to the other three times. Mark had the most difficult time doing the turn around at the end of the pool. Mark then got to wear goggles so he could float on his stomach. Mark enjoys doing this but he does not like the water in his eyes or on his face. Marks session was over. Kelly had to put Mark back on the chair that lowered him in the pool to begin with. When Mark was in his own wheelchair he told me he had tried hard for Dad. I remembered the day before when my Dad was bent over holding my brothers hands on Marks lap. Dad had told Mark you have to keep trying, Mark you can not give up. Dad told my brother that he was very proud of him, for all the hard work he was doing. Dad said ''I love you Mark'' My Dad has not always expressed his emotion in words to all us, but we knew by my Dads actions that he has always loved us! So when Dad told Mark he loved him I could see how much this meant to Mark. My brother then told Dad how much he loved him.

My Mom and Dad were sitting on a bench watching what Mark was doing. I waved my Dad over so my Dad could hear what Mark just told me. I told Mark to tell Dad what you just said. Mark said "I have been working hard for you Dad"Mark had remembered what our Dad had ask him to do the day before. Dad said that's good son I am proud of you son, and I have been working hard for you son too", Mark looked at Dad with a smile and said" that's good we need it'. This warmed my heart. I also seen my Dad eyes well up, I am sure with shear joy, because Mark was trying so hard for Dad. God you never seize to amaze me! Mark is coming back.

Lord I do not choose to know you through knowledge alone, but I chose to Know you through the heart. This is what you intended for us when you step off your throne and walk as a man amongst us. You chose to make yourself known to all mankind. You chose for man to see with their very own eyes the love and compassion you had for all no matter what their sin was you still welcomed them unto You! You change the sinner out of love and compassion. You did not condemn them you welcomed them and then you told them to go and sin no more! You chose to suffer on the cross so that we could see the love that you have for us. You rose from the grave because the grave could not hold you because you did not sin yourself. All this was done out of love for us Lord. I chose to know you from the heart. I know if I know you from the heart I will be changed by your love alone.

May, 20 2009 Andy Slender has went in for surgery for colan caner will everybody please pray for her and her family !

Wednesday November 19 Th. 2008 Ababstance ands Marks swim therapy

I was not woken by a though by God this morning. This was very unusual because, I was talking to my cousin Mary Willaims, last night and we were talking about this very thing. Mary had made mention about how she loves when God would reveal himself to her and that she loves the closeness she feels with the Lord when he speaks to her. I told her I felt the same way. Then we talked about how sometimes we did not here from our Lord, and we said how we did not like when this happens.
I wonder If my Lord did not speak to me this morning because I was really wanting to sleep instead of getting up to see what he had to say. I ask the Lord to let me sleep last night and he did. Boy sleep definitely was not more important then what God had to say to my heart! I have missed my Lord all day. My heart is lonely, I do not feel your presence Lord. I know you are there. God speak to my heart, as you have been doing lately! I do not care what time it is. I just love the fellowship I have been having with You Lord.

I did not wake up until 7:00 A. M. this morning the Lord did not speak to my heart. I am lost with out him to day. I feel I have truly missed out on something great. I miss the fellow ship I have been having with the Lord in the early mornings I would rather not sleep. I know God has given me more energy thought his word, than sleeping. Please O Lord here my cry wake me at anytime in the night or quicken my spirit in the day so that I won't miss out on what you have to say to my spirit. I want to here from you all ways. I want to know what you have to say. I want you to teach me what you want me to know. I want to hear your voice. I want to know your will for my life. I do not want to lose sight of you. Keep me in your presence. I have tasted what you have to offer and I want more of you!

I went to Marks swim therapy to day Mom and Dad were their to. I was so glad I made it. I was able to see how much better Mark was doing than on Monday when I had last seen him. Mark walked across the pool about three times. Then Mark floated on his back this time he did not need the swimming noodles under his knees to make them come in the floating position Mark's knee came up all by there self. Mark still had to keep his head on the therapist shoulder so he could float on his back with out sinking. Then the therapist Kelly helped Mark stand again then he told Mark to hold his breath so he could float on his stomach Mark did float two times as the therapist push him thought the water then the therapist Kelly told Mark to kick his feet Mark had to move his arms like he would if he were to swim and Mark did what the therapist Kelly ask him to do .

This was huge because Monday was so bad for Mark. Mark could not stop shaking, on Monday he could not do what he was trying do! To day was a great day! Mark has definitely in proved. I am very happy for Mark. To see improvement in him is very encouraging Mark is trying very hard to do what is ask of him and it is never easy for him. Mark has not given up and I am very proud of Mark for doing that! I want to thank you God for strengthen Mark for helping him thought everything that he has to do. I know if it were not for You, Mark would not be doing the things that he is! Mark would not be here today! You are the healer, Redeemer, restorer, You make all things new!

I went by to see Mark and just say hi, Marks jerks are doing better the medicine must be at the levels needed to help him. I will be happy for you brother when this is all over for you and you can go home and start getting things back to normal.

Tuesday November 18th 2008 Strugles

First I would like to say the posting times on these post are one hour off it is acutely 12:33 A. M. in the morning.  I woke up in the middle of the night tonight.   I awoke to struggles.  There can be physical struggles.  There can be mental struggles, and there can be struggles of the heart.

I am going to start with the physical struggle.  I went to go see mark yesterday during his swimming therapy.  As I arrived my sister Nellie and my Niece Melynda was leaving. My sister was crying so hard she could not talk she told me not to go in there, it is to hard.  I told her I had seen it and went on in.  Marks body was shaking up and down way more then the first time I had seen him in the water.  Mark was not able to walk across the pool like he did the first time.  Mark was complaining about pain in his toes and his feet were dragging on the bottom of the pool, while trying to walk.  This session was way harder to watch than the first one I had seen Mark do.  It was harder because Mark was not able to do as much as he did the first day, I had seen him in the water.  Mark did float three times on his stomach with a mask on his face and his face in the water. The therapist (Kelly) would have to bring mark back up for air every time Mark needed to breath.  The mask was to keep the water out of Marks eyes.  The water effects Marks eyes like it would effect a infant. When the water gets in his eyes he takes along time to open them.  Mark then stepped off into the deepest part of the pool and he knew it.   He said immediately that "this is deep".  The water was up to Marks neck.  When Mark had done this he was reaching for the side of the pool because he was starting to tip.  Mark pulled him self along side of the pool with his hands where I was sitting.  He then expressed to me he was disappointed in himself for not doing what he wanted to do.  I then told him he would do better next time.   Marks body would not calm down, even when Mark was on his back floating with the swim noddles one under his knees one under his back and one under his arms and neck.  The therapist Kelly walked Mark around for a while. Mark did finally calm down, you could see the change in his face.  Mark's face did start to look a little more relaxed.  Mark did also blow bubbles in the water while his face was under the water.  Mark's session was over and Kelly had to load Mark back on the chair and raise Mark out of the pool.  Mark then had to get into his wheelchair, this is not easy for Mark.  Marks shakes are worse today Marks feet do not stay on the ground they bounce up and down. you have to hold down his knees to keep his feet on the ground.  I would call upon all of you to pray for Mark mentally and physically.  I know all your prays work they help strengthen him.

What do we struggle with mentally?  This could be so many things.  Mentally we could be struggling because we are no longer able to do what we once was able to do.  Or maybe we are in a lot of pain, this very much effects us mentally.   I have been in constant pain before.   Your mind gets cloudy.  Everything that once brought you so much joy seems dark and gray .  When I was in pain I found it hard to be around people.  I just wanted to be left alone.  My own personality had change I was miserable.  I was not very pleasant to be around.  After I started to feel better I thought a lot about the elderly people.  I thought about their aches and pains and why some of them would be miserable and why their personality are not as they once were.  When my pain left me, my joy was restored.  The darkness I was feeling was gone.  This is just a thought so maybe we can be a little more understanding to people that are in pain. 

 This is just another thought about mentally.  What else could we be struggling with?  Maybe why we might think God might reject us.  Could he reject us because of our actions.  As christan's we should know that Gods love is unfailing!    What would interfere with the love of God?    Is this because we have failed at so many things so many times over and over again.  God loves us even when we fail.   Is it because we continuously  make the same mistakes over and over again?  God knows our nature.  What else could interfere with our relationship with God?  So many times we do not forgive someone for what they have done to us.  How does that affect us with our relationship with God?  What did Jesus say when Jesus was asked by Peter.  [Matthew 18:21 ]"Lord, how many times shall I  forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"  When Peter asked this he thought that seven times was plenty.[ isn't seven times enough] Matthew 18: 22  Jesus answered,  " I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.  Why did Jesus say this ? Jesus said this because he has forgiven us for all that we do and he has shown us endless mercies .  Please read Matthew 18:21-35 and think about what Jesus is saying!  Think about the forgiveness that God has given us and think about the forgiveness we need to have to others.

 Think about the servant that was forgiven so much!  Think about how he failed to have the same mercies to the person that owed him, all he could see is that he was owed and he desired what was owed to him.  How many times do we fail to see Gods love for us because we are focused on ourself.    We can't see past ourself to see Gods love clearly.  Our only focus is what is owed to us or to repay what has been done to us by not forgiving the actions of  another person.  We justify our actions.  God was just when Adam sinned and he had to separate himself from Adam because of sin.  It was mercy that God showed us when he gave his son for our sins.  Jesus did not think of himself when he hung on the cross.  Jesus done what the father had asked him to do out of love for the father and out of love for us!  Jesus said ''Father forgive them they know not what they do''.  This is an unselfish love!  This is Love in its purest form.  We are to be like Jesus loving always and forgiving others always.  How many times have we ourself done something to someone and not known  what we have truly done.  Can we then see another person love if our only thoughts are about our self.  All we can see is our own needs.  We are not capable of seeing things clearly.  We as human beings have to quit looking at ourselves and we have to start focusing on God.  We have to focus on God to see the love he has for us.  If we focus on ourselves we will fail to see the love of God.   God has offered, his pure love for us to receive freely, and when we receive it we are to share it freely.

 I pray that you O god would help me to always focus on you so I can see more clearly.  Keep my mind off myself and on the love you have for me so that I would not lose sight of you!  Keep my heart like yours always showing love to others so that they might see you though me!  I know I have failed in this area of my life but I ask you today to carry me.  Make me like you would want me to be, so that I might honor you. 

 The time is about 1:20P.M. when I got a call from my brother Sunnie.  Sunnie tells me that him and Charles are with Mark right now.  Sunnie also tells me that he was watching Mark in his physical therapy class.  Sunnie told me that Mark was walking with the walker.  Then Sunnie told me that he started to pray for Mark.  Sunnie told me that he prayed that God would give Mark the strenght to walk.  No sooner had my little brother prayed that prayer God answered it for him.  Mark told his physical therapist Ryan Donahue  that he did not want to use the walker anymore.  They then pushed it to the side and Mark proceeded to walk across the room twice without a walker.  Thank you God for answering my brother Sunnie's prayer so fast.  Thank you for revealing yourself to Sunnie.  You truly are an awesome God!!!!

Monday November 17th 2008 Andews Heart . Gods Grace

I woke early this morrning thinking back to the origional Hospital Mark was in (St. Lukes on Eagle rd).  Mark was still in the Crital Care Unit.  Mark was not out of the coma yet.  Andew Slender came by to see Mark.  I had the opertunity to set alone and talk with Andew.  We talked about alot of things.  I told Andrew how God had told Uncle John that God was going to use Mark earlier this summer  (Uncle John had called Mark and told Mark this and Mark said"I sure hpoe so").   I also told Andew about another incident Mark had.  Dad, Mark and I were flying back from Biggy Bunfield's funarel and we could not all set together Dad was more to the front.   Mark was in the middle of the plane and I was in the back.   I then told Andew about the women on the plane that had missed her flight and how she had to cacth the flight we were on.  This women had started talking to Mark about the Lord, she told Mark that she belived God was going to use him, and she believed she missed her flight just because of Mark.   Mark called me up from the back of the plane and interduced me to her.  This lady was wearing a cross on her neck.   She had a beautiful smile I told her right away that you must be a chirstian, she said" yes".  Then mark told me what she had told him.  I did not talk long to her becaues I thought I would give Mark more of a chance to talk with her.  We landed back in Boise and we got off the plane Mark and I had a chance to talk briefly about what had just happened.  Mark told me that he wanted to be closer to the Lord again.  I told Mark that he could be closer to the Lord again.  I was very happy to see Mark was wanting to get back to where he once was Mark had not been very happy the last few years.   

Andew had told me that he was alot like Mark and that he had not been close to the Lord in the Summers.  Andew had said that he was like a fear weather chirstian.  That he went to church more around ceritan people and that at times he would dirft away.   Andew had said" that what I was saying about Mark sounded like him".  I could see the senceitrity in Andews face when he told me these things.  I could see that Anderw longed to be closer to the Lord and he was disapointed that he had let himself drift away.  Anderw and Mark are not the only people that do this we all tend to do this.  I am thankful to God that he draws us back to him.  God does this out of love for us.  God loves us so much even when we forget him he does not forget us!   God loves us too much to forget us!  Could any one of us forget our own child?  No, not even if they forgot us.  We would be just like the father that wecomed back the protical son.  How much more is God waiting for us to come back to him?  What will God do to bring us back to him.  What would we do to find our lost child?  Would we give up?  No we would keep searching for our childern until we found them.  This is what God does for us, he dose not give up on us.   Gods love for us is so great!   How could he forget us just becaues we forget him,  God knows our human nature he knew what we would do before he created us that is why he made a way for us from the very begining.  Once Adam sinned he seperated himself from God he hid himself because he knew what he had done.  God still loved Adam.   God cloathed Adam himself.   God then had to seperated himself from Adam becasue God Is holy and he can not be in the presance of sin.  God provided a way back to him within the frist generation of Adam so that none would be lost threw Able.  God had put in Ables heart the need to provied a sacrifice for sin that was the pure spotless lamb.  A sign  of purety.  The blood that was shed was a price to be piad for sin.  When we sin we can not stand before God, God is holy our sins seperate us from a Holy God.   Able knew that payment had to be made before he could stand before a Holy God.  God had put this in Ables heart.  Ables frist sacifice was done so we would see the need for the aultimate sacrifice done for us out of love (Jesus Chirst).  The Blood of Jesus Chirst are Lord was shed out of love for us so that we might know him.  So we might love him, the way he loves us. 

O Lord open our eyes so we can see your love for us.  Alow us to feel your preceance all the time.  Please help us not to stray from you.  Keep our hearts after yours!   Not of things of this world!  Keep our minds focesed on you!  Not on the things of this world! 

 I was thinking about the name of Able the seconed son of Adam I tought of his name. I thought Able was able to be be obediant to God.  Able also saw what God had intended in the sacrefice of the Lamb.  God had revealed this in Able's heart, what needed to be done.  I would want to be like Able obediant to your will and to know your will so that your perpous can be done in me!

Once you have had a relationship with the Lord and you drift away a lonelyness sets in.  You can not be truley happy because God brings about true Joy ,Peace ,and  sound mind, you no longer trust in worldly things because you see that they are all temperarey.  With God in control you know that he will work all things to the good that love him.  Romans 8: 28 And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, how have been called according to his purpose.  N.I.V. Without knowing God is in control we lose sight of the things that God is capable of doing.  Things we once gave him to take care of we now think we have to do ourself.  We worry becaues we think we are in control.  We all know what happens when we are, things are a mess.  When God truly takes over our lives thier is a true peace, a peace that serpaces all under standing.  Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all under standing, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. N.I.V.  We have to allow God to be God in our lives to have what I have been takling about, true peace. 

 I also told Andew about how God had just done a miracle in my own boy Mark's life just about six months before all this had happened to my brother.  My boy Mark was being tested at school because his grades were really bad.  My boy Mark has also had two head engeries.  When I went in for a teachers conference a special meeting to meet with the staff and a specialest Doctor( A Pediatrition Neurololigist Psychiatis Doc. Woody).  I was informed that my boy Mark tested  mentaly retarted on the right hemisphere of his brain.  I was informed by the doctor that Mark had a non verble learning disorder, Mark has a hard time putting things down on paper or doing puzzle or crossword puzzle anything that he had to do with wrighting he was failing at it.  I was devesated when the Doctor looked at me and told me this.  I was handed my rights as a prarent of a handiecap child and I was told that they would retest Mark and I would have another meeting with them in about six to eight weeks.  I was told this because this is the law.  I also was told not to exept any changes when I came again for the next meeting.  You see Mark has a huge Cume they have been testing Mark for along time they had everthing they need to acess Mark properley.   I read this in those papers that they gave me that was the right of every parent that has a child with a handiecap.  The Doctor did not suspect a change that is why he told me this.  I left that meeting crying I called Hank and told him what had happen I ask him If we could meet he said he would be right over I told him everything the Doctor had said   We prayed, for God to take care of our boy we also prayed God would heal our boy.  I called on other people of faith to pray for Mark our son.  I went to church that Sunday and there was a special guest speacker that Sunday he preach on Celibrations and Miracles.  This speacker said we should celibrate what God has done for us.  We have celibrated every year since our boy Mark had gotten ran over April 19 th. 2002  God alowed Mark to live we have been so thankful every since this happened.  You see we celibrate what God has done for Mark every sincie.  Then the speacker said we should exept God for miracles.  When the sevrice was over I went the alter and I ask for healing for our boy.  Mark was below me in the childern church sericevis.  The elder of the church anointed my head with oil and he prayed for God to have his way with Mark.  We prayed God would heal him and we thank God for his goodness. Hank and I went to the secouncd  meeting at school togther and we were told  by the doctor that he did not understand But mark tested perfectly normal in all ares that he did not before.  We understud God had healed our son.  We have seen God miracles before and we know that God is capeble of doing any thing!  God your are a God of Miracles all we have to do is belive in you!///   I told Anderw about what had happen with our boy Mark and I had told him that God can do anything all we have to do is beleive.  I also told him that we believed that God was going to heal my brother Mark, and God has brought Mark back to life.  God has saved my  brother evrything he has been doing is a miracle in its self.  Thank you God for all the miracles you have done in all our lives!  thank you for showing your love for us thought these miracles!  How great are You O god? 

I just found out today that Andew's older sister Samtha  is haveing idencal twins.  Samtha first altasound did not show up as twins the doctor told her she was going to have only one baby.  Today she went in for another aultrasound  and they saw to little girls.  I spoke to her Mom Andy slender and Andy had told me that Samtha was wanting twins from when she was alittle girl.  How good you are O God to bless Samtha with what her hearts desires!

Sunday November 16th 2008 Lost! And a walk outside!

I went to go see Mark yesterday.  I took my three boys with me to see there Uncle.  Mark was a wake Ronnie was asleep.   I cant imagine how hard this most be on Roinne she does not leave very often, and she is there for all Marks therapy's.  Everything thing Mark has to do Mark has  to learn all over again nothing comes easy to Mark every little thing he does is hard. Mark seen me he told me to come in.   I told him the boys were out in the lobby.   He told me to have them come in sow he could say hi.  I went and got the boys they love their Uncle very much and they have been looking forward to see him.    Mark was happy to see them too.  My boy Mark has these big brown eyes and I can see the love right thought them every time he is around his Uncle he lights up.   

 My sisters came in not long after I got there.   Mark was very glad to see Lilly and Nellie.  Mark ask were is Mom.  Lilly told him she was in the car she said" you seen her yesterday don't you remember".   Mark got aggravated at what Lilly said.  He told lilly don't you think I would remember my own Mom.  I love her!  Lilly told him yes I do think you would remember Mom then Mark was ok.

Yesterday was a beautiful day we ask Mark if he wanted to go for a walk outside he said yes.  So we took him outside this was the first time I had gotten to go out side with Mark since his accident.  This felt so nice to see my brother out side of the hospital.  We were all able to see him enjoy the  fall fresh air it was not really warm, but when we step out in to the sun the warmth from the sun warmed are hole body.  The feeling of this day I will never forget.  We got to walk for about a hour with him.  At one point Mark was holding Benjamin's hand as Roinnie was pushing Mark I ask Benjamin later that night about it and he told me he loved holding his Uncle's hand.  Benjamin has seen his Uncle Mark In the hosptal when he was in the coma.   So seeing Mark talk and looking better had to very reasuring to Benjamin.   We stop walking and rested at the park a cross the street from the Hospital.  The kids played in the fall leaves,A few of the kids gave Mark some big old oack leaves that had fallen from the trees.  Mark grab some from Nellies boy Charles and said " I love them"and he put them to his face and smiled big at charles.  We sat and talked with Mark while the kids were playing.

  My Uncle had called my sister Nellie to ask her if she could find a ticket to fly in for Thanksgiving   Nellie told him she would try.  Mark seen Nellie talking on the phone, he ask "who is that Nellie".  Nellie told him it was Uncle John, Mark said "he wanted to talk to him". Nellie gave Mark the phone. Mark said "hi to Uncle John" he then told my Uncle he would like to start reading his bible when he was to himself more.  They talked some more then Mark said "by Uncle I love you".

I woke up early this morning with a thought and a title for today.  But did not get up right away to put it down.  I have lost my thought.  I really wish I would have gotten up and wrote it down it was a good thought I believe the Lord gave it to me.  I have prayed and ask the Lord for it back and I have not gotten it back yet.  I believe the Lord has laid this one my heart.  LOST!

  How many times would the lord have used me if I would have taken the time to be obedient to him.  If my purpose in  this life is Gods purpose, would I not have work that would need to be done.  Would God want me to share him with someone!  Would God want me to help someone in need on his behalf.  Would God may want me to take the time to just stop by and say hi to someone that might be lonely.  Maybe give them a hug and let them know that they are loved by God.  That God had Laid that person on your heart.  That God loves them!   Does God want me to take time out of my day to pray with someone that is needing prayer?  So many times we get so busy we do not take the time to share the Lord when there might be a opportunity to do so.  When that opportunity is lost it is lost we can not take it back, just like that thought the Lord had given me earlyer this morning  it is lost!  Help me see the importance of doing what you ask of me when you ask me to do it.  Help me to do the these things you want me to do.  I know from the past that when I do what you would want me to do I am blessed.  I am blessed by helping that person!   I am blessed by the person that needed the hug because there hug was a blessing back to me.  I am blessed by the person that needed prayer because I also needed to pray!  I am blessed  by sharing the Lord with others that wanted to hear about him because I know the Lord is dealing with them maybe they might come to know the Lord!  Allow me to take the time that you need from me, so that you can use me!  I am truly blessed when I am used by you!

My Dad and brothers flew back to day!  I was so glad because Mark had been asking everyday where they were.  We would tell him that they had work to go do in Caiforinia.  Mark would always say O I understand.  But I seen a sadness in Mark.  Mark was missing them very much.  When ever we call them on the phone Mark loves talking to them.  Every time he talks to them he ask them when are you coming back.  They  tell him soon and Mark would say good I cant wait to see you!  I was not there today when they went into the room to see Mark but I would have love to have been.  I took My sisters little boys home with me so that they could stay and visit Mark.  I was told by my sister's  Mark lit up when he seen Dad, Charles and Sunnie.  I know this has to be good for Mark because his spirits are so good when there around.  Mark has always loved being with his Dad and brothers.   I would have loved to been there last night just see Marks face.  I also felt I missed out on something very special.  Mark seen a book setting on a table and he asked if he could read it my Dad  gave Mark the book.  Mark just opened the book some where in the middle and read apart that said don't get discauged keep looking to God for your strenght.  Mark just happen to open this book at this particular place.  When Mark was done reading my Dad said lets all pray for Mark.  Everyone of them said

a pray for Mark and thank God.   O how I would loved to been there to see my hole family praying to God!  To the God that saved my brother!  To the God that loves each and every one of then.  To the God that has shown himself to them though the miracle he has done in Mark.  How wonderful it is to give God the Glory for the great things he has done!

Saturday November 15 th 2008 Actions mean more than words

I woke up thinking about how I keep saying how thankful I am to God for everything you have done.  I truly am thankful!  But is my thankfulness showing in my actions.  Am I being the way you want me to be.  Am I bringing honor to you when I speak.  Do people see you though me.  Do people see that I have a real relationship with You.  When I allow circumstances of this world to enter into my heart and change me.  When ever my heart is not in the likeness of yours it is because I allow the things of this word to effect me.  When things of this word effect me it changes my heart,"I become as I once was disconnected from you" when this happens my closeness is lost with you.  Lord you are a heart God, you want to be connected to my heart when it isn't pure how close can we be?  How can I feel your love for me?  How can I feel your Joy?  How can I be thankful in words,  my words would hold no meaning if you are not in my heart!  Please teach me, and not to allow things of this world to enter into my heart.  Keep my heart pure!  Keep my heart pure so that I can always feel your presence!  Keep my heart pure so I can always love like you would want me to love!  To love in purity!  To love in honesty!  To love unconditionally!   Teach me to be who you would want me to be.  Teach me to love like you love!  You loved us before we ever loved you!  You showed this on Calvary.  As You hung on the cross You said forgive them they no not what they do!  Please give me that kind of love!  Please give me that kind of love for all people even the ones that hurt me.  Teach me to love unconditionally as you have loved me unconditionally!  I see now that this would be a truer way to show you how grateful I am to you.  This would be a real thank you!  This would not just be in words, it would be a true thank you!  I love you lord and I want to be pleasing to you!

Lord I pray reveal to me all that I have done against you!  Open my eyes to see all that I have done against anyone of you children for when I have wronged one of them I have wronged you!  For you are a God of love!  You are a God that shows no favoritism but you love all equally!

I am to see all man kind as you do! 

Please pray for Eddie Doughtry and Kim Doughtry.  Eddie has been diagnosed with  acute leukemia they just found out on Feb 4- 09.  We all lift him up  to you Lord and his family.  Lord Bless this family!

Thursday November 14th 2008 Elaine's Birthday Mark's progres

It was my nice Elaine's birthday yesterday she turned twenty.  What a beautiful young lady she has grown up to be. I always love being around her.   She has such a sweet way about her.  Elaine is always happy, sometimes very silly, and giggly she is also kind and loving .  We have are very own thing we share together I really don't know when we started this but I love it!  We did it as soon as I seen her last night. I told her Happy Birthday my girl come over here and give your Aunt a kiss.  What we do is, kiss each other really fast alot of times she always giggles and smile really big as she is doing this.  I love this we have so much fun.   I love you Elaine! Happy birthday my girl!  Lord I want to thank you for all my nice and nephews what blessing they all are each and everyone of them in there own different why.  You have made them that way.  That is what makes everyone of them special!

I went up to go see my brother last night my Uncle Dewey Colon was visiting Mark. Mark loves Dewey very much they have always had a very close friendship. I could see Mark was enjoying him self very much. Dewey once said, to Nellie you and Mark are my favorite. My sister Lilly and I over heard him. I can't say we weren't a little jealous. Since Dewey has said this, I have tortured my poor uncle to death. I love Dewey he is a good man and he has a good heart. I am also happy Mark has such a good friend in Dewey.

I made a comment on Dewey shoes last night how nice they were. Mark then said Yes they are. I would like to have Dewey's full outfit. Mark was right Dewey did look handsome last night. I really have never seen Dewey not look nice he has very good taste in clothes. Dewey and Mark talked about things in the past Mark could recall must of the things they talked about. We had a few smiles and laughs. I see improvement in my brother everyday. Lord You are awesome God. You have given Mark back to us so that we can enjoy him. I was so happy for my nice Elaine that she had her Dad last night for her birthday. I told her she had the best gift of all her Dad and she said I sure do.

Tuesday November 13th 2008 The word is alive Mark swimming threapoy

I awoke up extra early this morning I was seeing a song by Casting Crowns it was The Word is Alive. This song speaks truth it is very powerful.  I know Gods word is alive and that it is truth. Gods word will never fail it will remain the same yesterday today and tomorrow. Gods word is all powerful it can remove all darkness!  Maybe God laid it on my heart because yesterday was so very hard for me. I went to go see Mark yesterday.  Marks recreational therapist Kelly was going to put Mark in the swimming pool.   I ask the day before if I could go in with him, because Mark and I have had a love for the water every since we were young.   I remember swimming with Mark as young as the age of four we would swim all day if we could.  We also got are scuba diving certification together.  We got are first scuba certification ( which was a Paddie certification with Hank Mark and I) in Adelaid Australia.  Mark has always been very good in the water.  Marks was not always the greatest diving partner though.  You see we would call Mark turbo fins because he was so fast in the water.   When you were his diving partner you would get lost from Mark because as soon as Mark was under the sea and he would be gone. One of the most important rules of diving is don't lose your diving partner, but you would look for Mark and you could never see him.  You see those fins were just so fast none of us could keep up with him.   I have had a life time of fun in the water with Mark.  Well when the therapist said no I was truly disappointed But I under stood.  I went to watch him yesterday and know I know why he said no.  When I arrived at the pool they were lowering Mark in the pool on a special chair this took alot out of Mark.  When Mark was lowered into the water about at his waist the therapist Kelly told the person lowering Mark to stop, Mark did not have to adjust to the water temperature the temperature was warm.   It was the feel of the water.  The water was stimulating Marks hole body he began to shake his body was jerking up and down then Kelly wanted to let Mark get use to it before he went any further. After a min. he told Ronnie to let Mark down all the way about just under Marks arms Mark had to adjust again the Kelly waited for Mark to comb down a little he had to hold Marks legs down on the bottom of the pool, they were bouncing up and down alot.  Then he put his arms under Marks arms and moved him off the chair letting Mark get comfortable with him he then ask Mark to try to walk with him as he back up holding Mark under Marks arms, Mark was trying to do what he asked him he was walking with him but this was hard for him to do.  Then Kelly put Mark on his back with Marks head laying on Kelly"s  shoulder Kelly started to stretch out Marks right hand above his head this was a great effort for Mark.  Mark look at Mom and me and smiled then Kelly did his left arm up high above his head then he look at Ronnie and smiled . I looked at Ronnie looking at Mark I could see her emotions on her face.   How hard must this be for her to see day after day I only get to see a very small part of what Mark has to do in a day and I am broken hearted and thankful at the same time.  After this the therapist was trying to get Mark to remember how to float on his back.  He ask Ronnie to put one of those swimming noodles under both his knees this brought Marks body more at a floating position on his back. Mom and I were standing off to the side and Mom whispered to me how fortunate we were to have Mark here. I told Mom God had truly blessed us in Mark being here.  The care Mark has received has been wonderful you can really see the love that all the staff have for all the patience. I was watching the Kelly face and I love to see the smiles of encouragement he gave Mark.  Then next task he gave Mark was to walk across the pool with out alot of help he was just there to balance him I seen Mark look over at me I could not help My self, I had to go to the side Mark was trying to Walk to. I wanted him to stay focused and try to make it to the side the therapist wanted him to go to . I knelled down and I said look at me Mark he did. he was trying so hard to walk in the water this was not easy for him at all I could see it in his face this was also painful for him, but mark did not give up he kept trying and he did walk to my side. When he reach me he said to me.   Melynda I cant swim any more.  This broke my heart!  I told him you will Mark you will.  Kelly told him no negative talk.   He turn Mark around and told him to walk to Ronnie.    Mark did I am very proud of mark he is trying with all his heart he is not giving up.  Mark was done so the Kelly had to put Mark back on the chair that lowed him in to the water to began with.  As Mark sat on the chair the therapist ask Mark to hold his breath and put his face in the water Mark did. I watched him do this when his face came out of the water his whole face was tightened his eyes were squinted. I could see the effect of the feel of the water was having on Marks hole body. I can see Mark is super senitive to touch. We have also noticed his hearing is very good.  Mark is very sensitive to touch. God I know that Mark is in your care I pray that you are with him today strengthen him. Please help him today allow your holy spirit to cover him and give him your strength for things that are before him today! Thank God for today!  Thank you for the life you have given back to us!

Wednesday November 12 Th. 2008 God thank you for bringing about a awrewness of how much you love us

I woke this morning thinking You love me O Lord You really love me. I can feel your presence. I know You are here with me .  Your word says You will never leave me nor will You never forsake me.( Hebrews 13 :5 " Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.) I know the things I have done have not been pleasing to You. I know I make the same mistakes over and over again. Yet You still love me.  When I was younger I did things that were not pleasing to You. I knew I did these things and I was afraid I was not good enough for You to love.  I said to myself I would have to be better before You would love me.  This is a lie.  You loved me even in my sin. You sent your son for me not because I was sinless but because I was a sinner and because I was hopeless without You.  Jesus you said you came to the world not to condemn the world but to save the world.  I have felt condemned in the past, because I saw my sin for what it was.  I saw how my sin is wrong and how I was not worthy to go before your throne.  You made a way for me, a way so easy that I could not comprehend it.  All I had to do is ask You to come into my life.  And You did.  Why was it so hard for me comprehend this?  I know why.  I did not think you could love a sinner like me why would you lay down your life for someone like me.  I know now that it was done out of love for me.  I know that You only want a relationship with me and You also want a relationship with the world and for all that would believe on You.  You only want us to love you freely.  You wood not force your love on anyone because if you did that would not be love that would be dictatorship.  How could I truly feel your love, if I was made to love you?  How could I truly know love if I forced to love?
I love you because I see you first loved me even in my sin you still loved me.  You did something so great for me how could I not see it was done out of love.  You laid down your life for me even though I was a sinner .  So I could see how much you love me. You made away for me to come before you throne.  I am now worthy to stand before you and be unashamed I can be the bride you prepared me to be.  I can where the white garment you have set before me because my sin will no longer stain them, for you have covered them you have washed all my sin away.   Only now am I worthy to go before your Throne.  I await your coming.  Please help me to stay focused on you!   Help me to keep my eyes towards you!   Help my heart not to stray from you!  Help me to know your love!   Open my eyes of my heart to see you in purity!  Open my heart to yours!


I would like to ad some prayer request. Please pray for all the people that are at the Idaho Elks Rehabiltion there are some many  young kids and all ages of people that are in need of prayers. The staff ask if the people praying for Mark would pray for their hole ward, because all Marks prayers were working!  I would also like prayer request for Bill and Georgina Reid and Tommy and Charlotte Mullins. Bill has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And Tom has been diagnosed with with having colon cancer let us pray for their health and there family's, and for all that they are going thought!   Lord we put are trust in You!

Tuesday November 11 th 2008

I went to see Mark last night he was very tiered.   Mark walked with a regular walker this was his first time doing this.  Mom said it was very hard for him to do. Mark is making great progress in his physical realm.  He is learning how to get to the wheelchair from the bed, he needs help to do this.   Mom told me that she called Dad so Mark could talk to him, but she did not tell Mark who she was calling.   Mark knew it was Dad right away by the sound of his voice.  Mark ask Dad why wasn't he here. I'm sure that this hurt my Dad nothing would make him happier then to be here right now.  Mom also called Charles, Sunnie and Uncle John.  Mark knew everyone of there voices this made us happy that he was capable of knowing them.

Mom told me about it last night in front of Mark and he could not remember doing that.  Lord I pray bless his memory, strengthen him daily.  Let him know that he is loved by you!   And let him know he is loved by so many people!  Thank you all for still praying for Mark!

I was setting by Mark and we were talking he was getting bored with me so he ask me for the T.V. channel changer I told him I did not no where it was he said yes you do. Mark started poking me with finger aand smile on his face saying yes you do get it for me. He kept doing this and laughing.  Finally he told my boy Mark to get him the channel changer.  My boy Mark got it  for him.  Mark told him thank you for getting the T.V. channel changer.  . I told Mark don't you want to visit me he said yes but he wanted to watch some T.V. I guess he was sick of looking at me.  Mark has always loved T.V.. I guess somethings never change.  Oh well I know he still loves me.  Just as I love him.

God you have shown yourself as a God of endless tender mercies.   The Meaning of mercies in vine dicn. splanchnon,"affections,the heart," always in plural in the NT, has reference to "feelings of kindness, goodwill, pity, Phil 2:1 K.J.V. 1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any fellow ship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, 2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be like -minded , having the same love, being one of one accord, of one mind.

Thank you God for you have shown us your mercies all the time . Please open our eyes sow we can see you mercies that  are always bestowed upon us.

Monday November 9 th 2008 God I pray you bless Mark today

We went to see Mark after church he looks really good. Hank told Mark that his nephew Mark was in wrestling and that he had a match the other day. Mark ask, how did he do. Hank told him he lost. The boy Mark had to wrestle was above his weight class and he got Mark and choked him out. My brother Mark told me to bring our son in so he could see him. Mark came in and Mark told him to sit beside him. My brother grabbed my son's hand and started to talk to him. He ask him how he was doing, and ask him about his wrestling. Mark then told his Uncle Mark that he had a match and he wanted to win for him.  Our boy Mark then said, but I got choked out. Mark told my son that he would have to teach him a few moves, and maybe he could win next time, and may be not. Mark said he wanted to go to Mark's next match if he could. Then they started to talk about guns and hunting. My boy Mark had told his uncle that his Dad had not gotten a scope for the gun that his Papa had just gave him.  My brother Mark said he will get him a scope for his gun. Mark told my boy he would take him hunting tomorrow.  I wish my brother could take our boy hunting tomorrow.  Mark loves being with his Uncle.  

Lord I thank you for the day that my brother Mark and our son Mark can go hunting together!

November Sunday 8th 2008 God does not Give up on us and he can always use us if we are willing

I went to go see Mark yesterday he looks stronger.  I got to watch him feed himself. He has some difficulties but I would say he did feed himself about 95 % of the time . Ronnie Fed Mark the rest.  I was glad to see he had as much control with his hands as he did.  Mark can also push himself with a wheelchair.  I brought Lilly's kids up with me.  Mark was in his wheelchair and he came out to the lobby to see them.  Baby Lennie had a small ball Mark wanted to see it .  He tried to open it (it looked different it had a lot of lines thought it).  I ask him what are you doing Mark and he said he was trying to open it.  I told him that it was a ball. He told us he thought it was a nut.  After I told him it was a ball Mark threw the ball on the ground it bounced back up and he caught it.  He did this several times.  I was amazed at his control.  Then he decide to throw it so Lennie could go get it.  Mark had fun because Lennie was playing with him.  After Mark was done we took him back to his room.  He got in bed.  Mom and I told Ronnie to go get something to eat we would stay with Mark.  Lilly and the kids went upstairs with Ronnie to eat.  Mom and I stayed with Mark.  I ask Mark if he would like to talk to Uncle John he said yes get him on the phone.  I got Uncle John on the phone.  Mark was very glad to hear from him.  Uncle John told Mark he was going to come out and see him soon.  Mark said sure I am glad.  Uncle John said, Mark and him could talk about the Lord and connect together.  They told one another they loved each other and we hung up.  I told Mark that maybe he could do some preaching with Uncle John.  He told me no he had done to many bad things.  I told Mark God could use you.  I told him God takes away all the bad things we have done when we ask him.  I told him God makes us new again.  I told Mark he was a miracle and that he could tell people how God had saved him, he said I guess so.  God can use any one with a willing heart.  God is just waiting on us to be used by him.  Are we wanting to be used by him or do we not care?  I ask you today Lord use me so that when I stand before you, you will say well done good a faithful servant. I do not want to be a shamed of what I could of done, if I would of only allow myself to be used by you.  Allow me to take the time out of my life to share you with other people and tell them what you have done for me.  To tell them the difference in my life because of you.  You have brought so much joy and peace to my life I do not worry about things because I know that you are in control .  I know that  You thee God who created the heavens, earth and the universe can surely take care of me.  I know that you will because your word say you will, it say you take care of the Lily's of the field.  Your word say that you love us more then the Lily's. 

Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what it will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28" And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lillie of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more cloth you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we wear? 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about it self. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Lord allow us to see that you are in control of everything.  Lord I need not worry for you are my Father and I am Your child you will surely care for me.  Thank you for the peace I have in You!

November Saterday the 7 th 2008 A Purpose

My dad and brothers had to go to California today to go and take care of some business.   They have worked very little since Marks accident.  They have not left the hospital often since this has happened.   I know my Dad and brothers did not want to leave Mark,  I know they did not have a choice.   This hurt them all very deeply.    I know this is not what my Dad wanted to do.   It is what he had to do.  I pray they can get their work done quickly so they can come to be with Mark.   Mark misses them and is asking for all of them.    Mark loves them all very much and they love him with all their hearts. God you have blessed us with a very close family.  

Hank and I went to go see Mark last night.   My Mom and Bob Hazel were in the hall way waiting for Mark to finish up some things.   Ronnie was in the room with Mark.  Hank went in  to go see if he could help in any way.  When Mark was done we went in to see him.  Mark looks stronger every day.  He has alot more control over his hands.   They are moving more smoothly now, he has gained alot more strength in his hands and alot more control.  Hank ask Mark if he could lift his legs Mark showed us he could.  He did it alot easier then I thought he would.  When Mark has to get up to do anything it takes alot out of him.  Mark's body does alot of jerking when stimulated.  Mark does seem to get frustrated from the jerking. His legs have a hard time staying on the ground or the foot rest on the wheelchair.  They do alot of jumping up and down.  This is very hard to watch because we see how exhausting it is for Mark.   Just moving from his bed to the wheelchair completely wears him out.   Something that would be easy for us to do, is very difficult for Mark.  So many times we take little things that we can do that takes very little effort for granted.  We do not appreciate the health we have until we no longer have it.

Hank was asking Mark about a person that they had work for in Montana this man was a Senator at one time.  He asked Mark if he remembered Senator David James and Mark said yes.   This is a man that they had work for for many years starting when Hank was fifteen years old and Mark was fourteen.  Hank was seeing if Mark could remembered him and he did. This was the very beginning of a lifetime friendship between Hank and Mark.   Hank loves Mark very deeply, and Mark loves Hank!  When we left the hospital Hank told me he was having a hard time seeing Mark.  My brother is not completely better yet.  I know he will be in time. I know he is going to be better then before.  Mark is going to have a new life.  Mark gets to start fresh.  How nice it would be.  I know any one of us can start a new life through Jesus Christ our Savior.   We can all start over and start living our life for Christ.  I have found thought Christ, life is truly worth living.  I know thought Jesus I have true Peace and a real Joy.  I know thought Jesus I have a purpose and meaning.   Thr ough you O Lord life is worth living, life is eternal there is no end.  With You I have a beginning.  Allow Your purpose to be my purpose.

November 6 th 2008 How deep the Lord God our Father's Love for us is

I was talking to my cousin Rena Trail last night and we were saying how good God is. God has shown his love to us in so many ways. I know I don't even recognize so many many things that he has done for me."Lord open my heart to see them. Let my eyes and ears be more aware of what you do for me so that I can really start to comprehend your love for me. I know Lord you only want good for me. I know this because you have said we are your children. And you O Lord are my Father. I know as a Mother that my love for all my children is so deep I can't imagine loving any thing or anyone anymore than my children. I know you love me because I am you child. I know I have wronged you so many times, yet you still love me because I am your child. Lord forgive me for all things I have done against you. Lord forgive me for all things I have done against all your other children. For when I hurt one of them I also hurt you. I know you forgive me for your Word tells me you do. I know that you do not hold anything against me that I have done, because you Word tells me that you forget all my sin against you . Your word says they are all forgotten as far as the East is to West. Lord I know this, by what you say, but so many times I can't comprehend that you all capable of doing this. Because of who I am I remember the things I have done I remember the things people have done to me. I can see that only you are capable of doing this act of true forgiveness because our sins are forgotten by you. Are sins are no more. I thank you O God for how you are and what you are capable of doing. I thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for showing me how to forgive people that hurt me or hurt someone I love. I know that your Word says to forgive others as I have forgiven you. When I truly bring something before you and give it to you and then I walk away from it . You release me of the chains that bind me, the hurts that I have done to others. The hurts that they have done to me. I am no longer a slave to sin but I am truly free. O how wonderful it feels to be free. Lord thank you for showing me the need to do this because now I know what it feels like not to be a slave to sin or have sin effect my life or anyone around me. Thank you for freeing me. Thank you for showing me that I was a slave to sin and the effect that sin has on my life and the others around me. GOD I SIT IN WONDER OF JUST HOW GREAT YOU ARE !"

Novmeber 5 th 2008 The condition of the heart

God I come before you asking you that my thoughts would not be clouded by my opinion, but that you would reveal to me what your Heart is and what you would want me to say. Help me O my Lord be with me and guide me let me hear your voice let me know you. Let me only bring honor to you!

I went to go see Mark yesterday during his therapy. I was there when they did speech therapy. Mark is improving so fast that the therapist can not believe it. With some help he knows his name and address and family names. He can write all of this on his own using a pen and paper. Mark is doing about second grade work drawing lines from names of meanings to words. They ask him if he could just circle the words to the meanings but he said he could draw lines to them. This is very big because there is alot more confusion with the lines going through one another. He did this almost perfectly. The speech therapist left and I got to visit with Mark . One thing he told me was "MELYNDA DONT LOSE OUR THOUGHTS". This hit my heart because I have been really busy the last few days and I have not been able to put every thing down on this blog that the Lord has been laying on my heart. Early this morning I was worried I might forget something important I wrote down somewhere or forget something of real significance. I also lost Cathy Simpson (she went to Phoenix AZ her Dad Bob is doing better) she has been a really big help to me she has been dictating alot of what you have been reading for me on this blog. (But Jennifer has expressed she will be willing to help when ever I need her)

Mark was to tired from the day before because he took 75 steps with a walker (this goes under his arms. It is shaped like a horseshoe and it supports his weight) he is showing great improvement every day. In some way or another.

We where talking to Mark the other night and Lilly, Sunnie and I where saying to him how he had a good heart and he look at us and he said "NO I DON'T." We told him yes you do and he said again NO I Don't." Mark knows the condition of his own heart. He knows without Gods covering we are not worthy to go before your throne. We are not worthy to go before you Lord. When you said we would have to be reborn you meant the condition of our heart. Only you can purify the heart. Our heart is no good without you. Mark knows that only through the grace of God that we are good. God brings about change to our hearts when we are connected to him. We see things in his light. We are not clouded by the darkness of this world.

I was watching a T.V. program last night with the family and it was about how powerful a certain type of gun and bullet was . They were using a bullet proof vest and a gel substance behind it and they were demonstrating how certain guns and bullets would penetrate the bullet proof vest. The first gun and bullet hit the vest and there was a impact you could see it when they showed it in slow motion. The bullet caused the jell substance to definitely move but there was no penetration to the vest. The second gun and bullet shot to the vest caused the bullet to go through the bullet proof vest and you could see the bullet penetrate to the middle of the jell like substance. If that jell like substance would have been a HEART that bullet would be fatal. God has intended in his word the Bible to show us our sin and show us the consciences of our sin and it is death. Gods word should penetrate our heart. So that we can be reborn unto him. God has provided a way back to Him. He has made a way for us to be restored to him. We have to see that sin separates us from a Holy God and that because God is Holy he can not be in the presence of sin. Our hearts have to reborn. The heart has to die itself and only then can God restore it. Because he give us a heart that is a new one that sees more clearly. One that knows when it has sinned against God because when it does it is convicted. Our hearts will tell us when we have wronged someone or when we have sinned against someone or when we have sinned against ourselves and when we have sinned against God. And when we have a relationship with God he will let us know. He will speak into our inner most being. He will convict our hearts when we see sin for what it truly is and how it separates us from God.

God allows us to see through to his Heart . God allows us to see through his eyes . God allows us to see our sin so that we might become more connected to him and so sin will not separate us from him any longer. God freely gave his son so that we might be able to come before his throne and be his children and be truly loved by him. Thank you for your precious sacrifice, the gift of salvation (eternity with you). For all who would believe in him Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord will be saved. I know that I am yours.

O God you have brought back to life this dead heart. O God you have breathed new life to this dead soul, out of love for me. And you will do this for all of mankind. Any one that calls on your name Lord Jesus Christ and has seen what you have done for them. Let them see your love for them. Let them see you your sacrifice was done out of love so that we could have a relationship with you. So we could Know You O great mighty wonderful counselor merciful Gracious Redeemer Savior and Lord creator of thee heavens earth and universe.

Tuesday November 4 2008 God you know us

 When I went to go see Mark a few days ago, Mark called me Nellie.  I asked him to look at me and then  asked, "who am I."  He said Melynda. I told him you just called me Nellie. He said, "I did, I'm sorry." I told him that that was ok, I call you Charles or Sunnie sometimes and I don't mean to. Last night my brother Charles went in to see Mark.  Mark kept asking to see Charles. Even though Charles was in front of him, Mark did not know that was him. Mark kept asking Charles where are you.  Charles kept saying I am right here. Mark did not know Charles.  Mark kept telling Charles, "you're not Charles, go get Charles."  And Charles tried to reasure Mark that he was indeed Charles.  Mark did not believe him.  This is the first time this has happend to any of us, my brother Charles was devastated. He cried from deep sorrow. As I woke up this morning, I was thinking how God says, "I knew you before you were born." Jeremiah 1:5. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;" This scripture also pertains to us. Then I thought how the bible says "I never knew you."Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of the my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?  Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you, Away from me, you evildoers!"   To be able to come before God and for him to know me, I have to surrender my heart to him and there will be no doubt that he will know me.