Mark right now has nothing but the purest thoughts. He has been reborn (Uncle John said he would be renewed when he awoke). He does not see the world as we see the world. Mark sees it in his honesty. So often we see things thought a tainted view. Seeing things only as we see them ,not as they really are. The Lord say we should try to see things the way He does. The lord said we should become as little children before him. A child seek a adults love they find security in what it will give. They don't have a motive other than simply wanting our love. As we grow into adults sometimes we think that we no longer need that same love that once was sought. But in reality we are lost with out it. A loneliness sets in or maybe distorted views we don't always see things for what they are and we become harden and we cant see things in truth.
I really love what I see in Mark right now he only see things as pure love. No cloudy thoughts. No distorted opinions. No hurts that would make him put up defences,or cause pain because he would feel it was deserved, because someone hurt him. Thank you Lord for allowing me to see this in Mark. Teach me to see though your eyes. Teach me to see more clearly. Give me a pure heart. A heart that can come before you and not be ashamed for the things that my heart might feel.
I went to see Mark around 3:40 pm. My Mom had just told me that they took his tracheotomy out and he was done with his therapy. I just wanted to see him for a few moments before he went to sleep. I knew he would be tired from all the work he had done today. I was not able to see him in the last to 2 days because so often when we are allowed to see him he is tired and we know how important it is to let him rest so that his mind can heal. So we will let him rest. The hospital is saying that we are only allowed two at a time and this is very hard for us because we have such a big family and all of us love Mark so much. We can not all get as much time to see him as we would like. I was happy for just a few brief moments today. Mark told me he loved me and that Hank and I could stay up their with him and Ronnie, he pointed to one bed in the room and said he and Ronnie could stay in that one. And then he said Hank and I could stay in his bed he had been sleeping in . This warmed my heart because this was a expression of Mark's love for us, see we have been extremely close our whole life and we have not been away from each other very often. We have been to Australia together, we had gotten our scuba licence there and when I was expecting my 5 child Hank had told Mark that if this one was a boy he would name him Mark after him, because they were best friends growing up. Mark was thrilled, this would be the first name sake Mark would have because he has 3 girls. We have 3 girls .Then we had 3 boys. Mark is my second boy. My bother was so thrilled to have Mark for a name sake, just as I was when he named his first born girl after me, Melynda.
"I can't tell you how we can't wait until you are better so we can see more of you. You have been a great big brother, and I love all the things we have shared throughout the years, I love you Mark. Thank you Ronnie for taking good care of Mark."
To the hospital I would love to sit back quietly and just observe things he is doing, but most of all, I would like for my Mom to get to be there. Her heart is torn when she is not allowed to be with Mark. He is her first born son and she loves him dearly. Mark has had a nick name for as long as I can remember and it has been Mother's Cookies because he loves his Mom, and our Mom has always catered to Mark. You see I know that same of kind love. I have it for My children. A person can not explain it but you would do anything for your child and it brings you such great pain to see your child suffer in any way. All my Mom's desire is to be in the room with her son, she does not care if he is awake or asleep. I wish the Hospital could see she would not be in the way, she would be quiet. She is anyway, simply by her own nature.
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I was on my way back to Boise from tuscan az. And I was looking at all my pictures on my phone. They were mostly all of mark.( LOL). And I started to cry and cry. All my pictures were of him in the hospital. It broke my heart to think I was on my way home to see my brother mark and that he was still going to be hurt. I really got so depressed I could not stop crying,until God spoke to me and said, ( stop mourning over Mark and start rejoceing!!!). God corected me that day. Me and my family have so much to rejoce over. I thank the lord for Mark and his miracles. I tell mark to remember that Jesus loves him and that he is a miracle . I have told him this since he was in a comma. Know when I ask him to tell me what I want hear and he says , Jesus loves me and I'm a miracle. one time mark looked up at me and said why am I a miracle, so I told him . And said ,DAWDY I am a miracle. Love his baby sis Lilly
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